No matter what you’re creating, when an audience is involved, you are the host. When someone visits you for a story, they are now your guest. Likewise, when you write an article, you need to think of yourself as the host, presenting your subject to an audience.
The Emily Post Institute, the source for etiquette, lists rules for being a good host. Unfortunately, they don’t have a section on “how to host your own story,” so I’ve adapted these from their best practices for hosting a party. Here are the Institute’s six tips with my comments, specific for hosting your story:
1. Invite Clearly
To keep an audience engaged, be clear in the invitation. Don’t sell your podcast as a place to learn about great restaurants if it’s mainly you complaining about your in-laws. Just make it an in-laws podcast. The audience doesn’t like to be tricked. If you’re not exactly sure what you’re doing, make that clear too.
As a host of stories, how vague is Those Stories? Ideally, it is vague enough to still make it adaptable while maintaining an audience that could benefit.
2. Plan Well
A band on tour might think they can wing their introductions, but people from Spokane hate bands that come out on stage and yell, “Hello Boise!” You probably need a plan to get even this bit of improvisation right.
Taking the time to plan is a weakness for me. I can go out on stage and fill time if I have to, but would it be my best work? Would I be putting my audience first? In most cases, probably not.
3. Be Welcoming and Attentive
If you’re an expert giving a talk to beginners they’re not going to care about your status, they want to learn. If you’re not willing to start at their level, you’re just showing off. Being a host means meeting the needs of your guests.
4. Be Flexible and Gracious
Murphy’s law—Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Unexpected people will show up. Your projector won’t work. Your website will crash. You’ll offend someone accidentally. In all of these scenarios, be willing to do the next best thing.
Let’s say your microphone isn’t working in an auditorium. Instead of just standing there and being irritated, make a round around the venue and tell everyone that it’s not working, get to know the audience. I can’t think of something more memorable than a microphone not working in a big auditorium and the person on stage running around the hall yelling—the microphone isn’t working!
5. Be the Leader and the Spark
Don’t cause the guests to fend for themselves. It can be a vulnerable act to show up and be someone’s guest. As the host, you are the leader. You are in charge of making the appropriate connections and leading the conversations. Just being the host isn’t enough.
If someone needs particular directions to understand your story, make sure you tell them that at the beginning. I once saw a movie called Before Midnight and was very confused. Only later did I learn that I’d missed the first two movies. Just putting “part three” at the beginning of the movie would have helped me understand.
6. Be Appreciative
The Emily Post Institute is concerned about you not being appreciative enough. So be appreciative—that’s every other bullet point in this post. If you’re the host, they’re your guest. Don’t forget!