Mario’s New Year’s goal was to find space and time for creativity. In his busy life, raising two kids and working full-time, he felt like he had lost a piece of his younger self. That piece was guitar playing.
A side note: when working on semi-fictional projects, you have to pick your assistants wisely. My assistant, named Lainey, is six. That’s why the father of two featured in this week’s newsletter is named Mario. Lainey loves Mario, the plumber and video game king. So here we are.
Although Mario wants to recapture the glory of his guitar playing days, he’s hitting a lot of metaphorical walls. When he thinks about playing the guitar, he agonizes over the years he’s wasted not playing. Mario has an identity crisis over who he is without the guitar. He feels lazy and incompetent for at least a few minutes every day because he doesn’t play.
Mario told me that just having the guitar out where he can see it is painful, so he hides it under the bed. He feels how smooth his fingers are and thinks of the lost calluses that allowed him to play for hours.
Mario’s struggle actually comes from the story, not from the habits. He only has negative reasons for playing the guitar, and those reasons derail him.
So what different story can Mario tell?
Despite his negative self-image about the guitar, Mario’s family is the most important thing to him. So tying guitar playing to his family would be the story Mario needs to give him the incentive to play the guitar.
If Mario plays the guitar, his kids are more likely to have music in their life. As his playing gets better, his kids will look up to him and may want to play a musical instrument too. The guitar can make them a healthier family. Additionally, Mario could reconnect with his musician friends, who he likes, and bring them back into his life. Plus, creativity makes him more satisfied at work and in a better mood when he is home with his family.
What a story! These are reasons to play the guitar.
My assistant, six-year-old Lainey, wants me to delete the following line because it seems too obvious, but I’m including it. Stories really do matter. When we engage with the narrative in our heads and shift our perspective, we can make all kinds of changes. Negative stories can move us away from something, while positive stories can move us towards our goals.
When we’re telling ourselves a story full of negativity, we need to reassess in order to see how our actions might lead to a positive result. With a new story, I hope Mario can get out his guitar and play a few chords.
June—Write a Children’s Book
Mr. Jones—Start Writing Daily
Ricard’s Six Resolutions—Eliminated
Pat—Workout More—Eliminated
Mario—Play the Guitar—Eliminated