The first hole of the Finch Golf Club is a par three that feels like any other golf course. You leave the clubhouse, pass the putting green and the driving range, and arrive at the first tee. There is a sign that reads, “Thank you to those who adopted a golf hole,” and lists the holes and their adopters. Otherwise, it’s a straight shot and an easy way to start the course.
Even from the tee box, though, they can see hole two looming. Marla stared it down as Annie set up for her first shot. A giant structure that looked like a wooden roller coaster loomed as an arch between hole one and hole two, with flashing red lights, and words were not quite visible from the tee.
As Marla and Annie moved up the hole, the words became clear: Max Megaphone’s Hole Two.
“Have you heard of Max Megaphone?” Annie asked Marla.
“Only in this compilation video called, ‘Max Megaphone fails’. He’s a wannabe influencer who can never quite land the trick.”
“What’s he doing here?”
“I guess he adopted the golf hole,” Annie said. “I’ve heard this course was weird, but this seems over the top.”
After finishing hole one with a bogey that Marla blamed on the flashing lights, the pair walked through the giant roller coaster structure bridge to enter a spectacle that looked like a carnival. The fairway was lined with flashing lights and pinstriped booths. One booth featured a giant, rising structure with “out of bounds” written down the side. A booth with clown heads near the tee was labeled Mulligan’s corner. However, none of the spectacle could take away from the man in red, standing right in front of them, holding a megaphone. He had two camera people dressed in black filming the proceedings
“Welcome!” the man yelled, aiming the megaphone at the women so they both had to plug their ears. “to Max Megahone’s Hole Two!”
What seemed like hours later, the friends emerged from a second arch to the tee box for hole three. They were both carrying gift bags from the previous hole. It was a relief to see only a giant billboard for Reliable Insurance Agency. Marla looked at Annie, who looked as if she’d gone through a windstorm.
“What just happened?” Annie asked.
Marla felt so overstimulated that it was hard to focus on what they’d just been through. It started with Max Megaphone encouraging the two golfers to try hitting different fruits to see how far they would go. Annie hit a kiwi pretty far. Marla tried to strike a watermelon with a mallet, but it just exploded everywhere.
Max then took them through all the booths, trying to get them to take part in challenges like holding a lit firework for as long as they could or jumping off the giant out-of-bounds platform. The whole thing was filmed by the two cameramen with lights constantly flashing and different sound effects blaring.
When they finally got back to the tee to play the hole, a man dressed as Bigfoot jumped out from behind one of the booths to scare Marla, who shot the ball through one of the booths.
“If you play my game, I’ll give you a mulligan!” Max Megaphone yelled.
“I’ll give you one for free,” Annie said. The hijinks continued. They both eventually got the ball in the hole and emerged with gift bags.
As they stood staring at hole three, Annie pulled out her scorecard. “Do you have any idea how many shots that took?”
“I don’t, so just give us both pars since that probably took a year off of our lives.”
At that moment, one of the cameramen ran out of the tunnel holding two pieces of paper. “We forgot to get you to sign consent forms to use that footage in our videos.”
Annie and Marla just looked at each other and laughed.
The Finch Golf Club is part of a series, you can read other entries here.