From the Desk of Julius G. Henry
Hello,
I would like to apologize for last week’s Pi Day fiasco. When I conceived of the banana cream pie stunt for March 14th, Pi Day, or the day that begins with the sequence 3.14, I had no idea it would cause so much drama.
I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I randomly threw banana cream pies in people’s faces throughout the day?” Then, I would dry clean the targets’ clothes and give them the rest of the day off.
I made some errors. I didn’t know people were allergic to bananas, which is what happened to Stacey. Luckily, Stacey is now at home recovering after her weekend in the hospital. I’m going to send her on a cruise.
Second, who knew that Felix feared food being thrown in his face. The lawyers told me the fear comes from germaphobia and is a known condition, but I didn’t know about it. I didn’t expect him to run through the plate glass window in the conference room.
We will change the design of those windows so that someone in a state of hysteria won’t run through them again. However, how much of the pie blocked Felix’s vision is unclear, so it might not have mattered.
Felix is not doing well. He doesn’t want to come back to work and may leave the state entirely. However, we are going to make sure that Felix is well taken care of going forward. Please don’t text him or call him.
I’m really sorry again. I have already canceled a planned Easter egg toss.
Hopefully, we can heal from this and move on as a team.
Julius G. Henry
Owner