Scuba gear littered the right fairway in front of the lake about 100 yards from the 6th tee at the Finch Golf Club. The instructor, Pat Muir, led six people in a lesson.
“Now remember, apart from the hand gestures, the most important advice in scuba and in life is ‘do not rush’. Going fast will lead to the bends at greater depths, but that’s why we practice here.”
“Fore!” a voice yelled, and a golf ball bounced near them before resting beside one of the air tanks.
“Nice work, Beverly. You saved that guy’s ball from going into the water!” Pat said excitedly.
Pat continued to lecture about hand signals while the golf cart rolled up.
“Hey, what’s the meaning of this?” a golfer said, getting out of the cart.
“I’m in the middle of my lesson, but we’ll move some gear for the next shot,” Pat said patiently.
“Ludicrous, this is a golf course,” the golfer said, stamping around. Beverly moved her gear, and the golfer took his shot. It hooked backward and flew into the water.
“Now, class, here is a good lesson about the principles we discussed,” Pat said as the golfer grabbed another ball out of his bag. “This guy hit his shot too quickly. He let his emotions get the better of him.”
“What are you saying?” the golfer said, swinging around and glaring at Pat.
“Class, let’s all practice our breathing technique with our golfer friend here,” Pat said, “What’s your name, sir?”
“Dennis,”
“Dennis, try this with us. I’ll give you 10 free golf balls,” Pat said. Dennis reluctantly put down his club and stood with the others.
“Now put your hand on your belly and try to breathe into all that space naturally,” Pat said. “Visualize the waves of an ocean coming in slowly and then breathe out as the tide recedes off the sand. Great. Now repeat that again, feeling the waves swelling up and releasing.”
Pat continued leading the breathing exercise for a couple of more rounds and then told Dennis to take his shot.
Dennis hit it straight to the green, and the class politely golf clapped.
“Wow,” Dennis said, “Do you teach golf lessons too?”
“No, just scuba,” Pat said. He handed the man ten golf balls.
“Where’d you get these?”
“Out of the lake, we practice scuba diving to get golf balls. I can return your ball later today.”
“I’m confused,” Dennis said. “What are you doing here?”
“I adopted this golf hole to teach scuba lessons. I am building an underwater network of all the lakes so people can practice going through tunnels. I’m also considering creating an underwater scuba golf course.”
“Interesting choices,” Dennis said, “But this whole golf course is crazy.”
“Tell me about it,” Pat said, but instead of mentioning the radio station or the haunted house, he replied, “I’ve had to dive multiple times into the hole 17 lake after drunk golfers reversed their golf carts into the pond. I never thought I’d be saving lives on a golf course.”
The Finch Golf Club is part of a series, you can read other entries here.