Louis Sideways of Sideways Marketing wanted to move his office to a higher floor. If he jumped out of the window of his first-floor office, it would just break some glass, but a higher floor would get Sideways out of the conversation he was having with Steve Kole.
Steve Kole had decided to champion the inconvenience fee. The goal was to punish people who wasted your time by making them pay for the inconvenience they caused.
“What should my costume be?” Steve asked.
Sideways looked around the room to see if he was being filmed for a prank show. “Why would you wear a costume?”
“I’m going to be a supervillain,” Steve Kole said. “I’m going to make people pay for the inconvenience. No one thinks you’re the good guy in that situation.”
“Now wait a second,” Sideways said. “Let’s say there’s a real estate developer, and they close down one lane of a busy road for three months to build an apartment. That’s worthy of an inconvenience fee, correct?”
“Exactly.”
“You’re not the bad guy in that situation,” Sideways said. “They’re the bad guy.”
“Then what am I?” Steve asked.
“You’re the guy collecting fees and serving out your brand of justice.”
“I’m Batman!” Steve yelled, and he jumped out of his chair excitedly. He performed a series of kicks and punches. “I’m a vigilante!”
“So in this scenario, you’re breaking into people’s businesses, in costume, and forcing them to pay an inconvenience fee?” Sideways asked.
“No, I’m sending them a bill, and I expect it to be paid.”
“You don’t need a costume for that,” Sideways said. “In fact, no one is going to take you seriously if you show up in costume.”
“But I need a supervillain name, right?” Steve asked. “Like ‘The Collector’ or ‘Judgment’ or ‘Feed Me Fees’.”
“You’re not a supervillain.”
Steve nodded, “I’m Batman.”
Sideways made another tally mark on his notebook. Sideways realized that most of his job was just to collect inconvenience fees from the people who chose to speak to him.