Hey Sitcom Advice, my company recently lost all of its leadership team to scandal, amnesia and the touring college comedy circuit. Now, we’re trying to figure out how to rebuild the team and who should lead. What would you do if you had to pick a leader for a company?
—Who’s the Boss Tony
Jay: I think you meant to send your question to other people. Except for me, I can’t think of three people less qualified to answer such a question. However, I’ll bite. The leader should be the person who has the best pulse on the group. Think of an election. Leading a company can be like running for student body president. While many think these elections are just popularity contests, they actually show the person most prepared to lead your group. I won an election for student body president twice. May the best politician win.
Eliza: The leader should be the person who cares the most. Which person will stay late, get there early, cancel weekend plans and always answer the phone? You must hold a reality show competition to see who can stay at the office the longest. Make sure there are challenges to add to the madness—maybe a herd of goats runs through the office. If a person leaves or falls asleep, they lose. The winner of the job is whoever survives the longest.
Gene: The leader should be the loudest person in the room. Such a person will be able to command attention, impress clients in presentations and keep out all the dissenters. Put everyone in a room and have them argue about who should be in charge. The person with the loudest arguments who drowns everyone else out wins. You want this job, right? Practice yelling. Make sure to get angry! Knock over some chairs!
Kenny: This is a complicated question without knowing more about your company. Are you publicly traded? Are you founder-owned and operated? Are you a nonprofit? Should the company still even exist? It’s tough to know what should happen without knowing the company’s stated mission. I am in charge of several companies lying dormant because we couldn’t figure out each company’s mission. Without a mission, what are you even doing? Figure out the company’s mission, and that should reveal your leader. I need to come up with a mission for my make-your-own fried chicken restaurant.