Trying to Leave the Family Business

Todd left organized crime, moved to a lovely little suburban community, and started work at a respectable company. Todd is not his real name, of course. It’s just a part of his new identity in the witness protection program.

Todd assumed he would feel out of place in his new life until he met his boss.

“Todd, I just want you to know that we believe that our company is one big family,” the boss said. “We don’t want this to feel like your job. We want this to feel like your home.”

Todd freaked out and immediately called his FBI caseworker.

“Lenny, I think this company might be in organized crime,” Todd said over the phone.

“What do you mean?” FBI agent Lenny asked.

“The boss says he wants this company to feel like my family,” Todd said.

Lenny laughed and explained that a common cliché in business leadership is making employees feel like a family. However, Lenny assured Todd that his new company was not involved with the mob.

Todd felt relieved until he started talking to his employees. The company didn’t pay people enough or give them any vacation. When Todd asked why they stayed, they explained that these were the people that were closest to them.  They didn’t want to lose everyone they knew.

People brought up a former co-worker named Doris. Everyone shunned her because she’d left the company.

 “Doris is dead,” one co-worker said. And then, after a long pause, he added, “To me.”

Todd was concerned, but he wanted to trust FBI Agent Lenny’s statement that this was how the real world worked.

Then, an employee explained that the boss wouldn’t let her leave. “I’ve applied for other jobs, but you need a recommendation from the boss.  The boss will never give me a good recommendation.”

The boss was like an abusive parent. He would play favorites with the employees, call in special favors and criticize people who didn’t “get the job done”.

Sure, no one’s fingers were getting broken. No one was sleeping with the fishes, but otherwise, this was just like being back in the mob.

Worse for Todd, these were the only people he knew in his new life. So he had to get drinks with them after work and buy into the culture. Todd even liked them. Todd was offered other jobs, but he was worried. Would he still have his friends if he left, or would he end up like Doris? The place was too stressful to enjoy but also too hard to leave.

Then one day, the boss called him into his office.

“Todd, do you like working here?” the boss asked.

“Very much.”

“Do you see me as a father figure? The patriarch of the family?”

“Like the Godfather?” Todd asked.

“Yes, am I the Kingpin of this company?”

“I don’t know who else it could be.”

“Then, would you do a favor for me? I think that Chelsea might be snitching to the owner about my behavior—I think she’s trying to force me out of the family,” the boss said, tapping on his desk.

“You think so?”

“I want you to wear a wire and confront her about it.”

“You want me to inform on the family?” Todd asked.

“I want you to protect the family,” the boss said.

Todd called FBI Agent Lenny when he left the meeting. “Is it normal for your boss to ask you to wear a wire to inform on other employees?”