No more staffing shortage?
Duke and Jenkins ran into Macklin’s office to see what was happening. Macklin looked up from his computer as his door closed to see the two men doubled over, wheezing after their short running stint.
“Are you guys okay?” Macklin asked, taking a long sip from the giant to-go cup on his desk while his bosses caught their breath.
“We just heard that Perkins Products filled their entire staffing shortage in the front office,” Jenkins said.
“We wanted that staffing shortage!” Duke added. “That was the strategy.”
Macklin looked at the two men, puzzled. Duke and Jenkins worked in the world of corporate malpractice. They made their millions by defrauding, deceiving and devaluing a number of companies in their portfolio. Macklin was the pair’s prized protégé, hired because he was known as the best bad actor. The continued confusion was that Macklin was a stage actor known for falling off the stage in performances, and those were some of his best performances.
“Why would a staffing shortage be a strategy?” Macklin asked. The two men looked at Macklin in disbelief. “Here’s what happened. Perkins came to me and said that they needed to fill their shortages. Then he said he wished he could find a bunch of workers just like me.”
“Where would you find a bunch of workers like you?” Jenkins asked. His mind immediately went to a Looney Tunes-type office with bad actors undercutting, double-crossing and devaluing a company. The chaos would definitely get Duke and Jenkins caught. You can’t have a bunch of bad actors, only one.
“Why, I thought of all my theater friends, of course,” Macklin said. “They’re like me. They work hard. They can act well. Whatever part you want them to play, they can.”
Duke and Jenkins looked at each other. They had attended one of Macklin’s plays. It was truly terrible. They believed it was all a huge scheme. A company full of those actors might be worse than a company without workers.
“So what did you tell the actors to do?” Duke asked.
“I just handed out the different parts,” Macklin said. “I told Stacey to act like an accountant. I told Mitch to act like a forecaster. I told Billy to work the front desk. They all took the parts very seriously. I’m calling it the Duke and Jenkins method. You guys love my work.”
“Brilliant plan!” Jenkins exclaimed, and Duke also smiled. At this point, they were millions of dollars richer because of Macklin. To them, hiring a bunch of unqualified buffoons was a perfect strategy to tank the company.
If only they’d known that Macklin was sincere in his belief that the actors would turn the company around. He was a good-faith actor. He just acted poorly.