Hey, Sitcom Advice Crew, I recently joined a new friend group. For some unknown reason, one of the group members thought I was a doctor. I was confused, but I played along. Now I’m stuck being a doctor. The thing is, I like being a doctor. People seem to respect me more. I’m getting more interesting first dates. I’m trying to figure out if this is a strategy I should keep employing or if I’m heading for trouble.
—Dr. Who, What, When, Where and Why?
Jay: There’s just no way you can keep this up. Eventually, you will be in a situation where someone yells, “Is there a doctor in the house?” And all eyes will turn to you, Dr. Goodtime. As great as it feels to be a doctor now, imagine how bad you’re going to feel when someone dies on your watch, and you lose all of those friends and all of that goodwill. At that point, you could claim you’re just a college professor, but that will be a whole new set of lies you’ll have to justify.
Eliza: I think there’s only one exit ramp if you continue down this path of deceit to this friend group. You’ll need to find another liar—start dating someone who is also duplicitous in that friend group. That actually sounds like it could be a lot of fun. You could be two spies in the encampment of these interesting friends you seem to have found. Of course, I’m unsure how you can ever trust someone who lies to everyone else. I’m not sure how they could trust you.
Gene: I say you take this as far as you can. You can strengthen your case. Take a CPR class so you know what to do in a medical emergency. Set up a medical consultancy practice and then use AI’s powers to diagnose people seeking your advice. AI’s actually getting better results than real doctors. You’ve lucked into an extraordinary situation—people think you’re a doctor instead of a loser. There’s no reason you won’t be able to keep this up forever.
Kenny: Why do you care about impressing these friends? Good friends accept you for who you are. The problem might be you. If you don’t feel secure and adequate in your current job, it’s time to work on yourself. Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to pursue an art? If you don’t like who you’ve become, there’s still time to change it. Do you want to be a doctor? Go to school!
About Sitcom Advice: This column takes the idea that four classic troupe characters in comedy play out repeatedly. These four tropes are the patriarch, the matriarch, the clown and the professor. Using shows like Seinfeld, Arrested Development and How I Met Your Mother, we explore Sitcom Advice from these four lenses.