“Hello, comma, Michelle,” the customer service rep said on the phone, “My name is Dale, comma, your customer service rep. How may I help you?”
“Why do you keep saying comma?” Michelle asked. There was a distinct pause on the phone.
“Oh, comma, I don’t understand what you mean,” Dale said in a tone suggesting he was reading off the screen.
“You keep saying the word comma when you’re supposed to pause because there’s a comma in a written sentence,” Michelle said, frustrated.
Dale paused for a long time again.
“I’m sorry, comma, I don’t understand,” Dale said.
“Are you a computer?” Michelle asked. She waited through the anticipated pause.
“No, comma, I’m a real customer service representative,” Dale said.
“Then why are you saying comma?” Michelle said.
“Listen,” Dale said, shifting his tone. “You talk. The computer tells me what to say back. It’s a glitch in the system where the computer tells me to say the word comma, but I get in trouble for every word I say that isn’t in the script. So I have to say comma.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Michelle said. “How stupid is that system?”
Dale paused again.
“Michelle, comma,” Dale said, returning to reading from the computer. “Your tone is not very professional. Please, comma, refrain from such harsh language. It may be hard to believe, comma, but I’m a human too.”
“I’m not mad at you, Dale. It’s the computer program. It’s a disaster.”
“I’m sorry, comma, Michelle, comma, but I can’t deal with you when you’re upset. Call back when you’ve calmed down, comma, please.”
Click.