Matt was in a hospital bed, covered in pillows, warm blankets and mood lighting that made the whole office look like a planetarium. He was just comfortable enough to relax when Dr. Z knocked on the door. The doctor entered wearing a doctor’s coat that resembled a bathrobe. He smiled at Matt and sat down in a rocking chair.
“Hello Matt, what seems to be the problem today?” Dr. Z said.
“Well, doc, I’m having a real hard time sleeping,” Matt said.
“How would you describe it?”
“I go out like a light,” Matt said.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Dr. Z said. “Doesn’t that mean you go right to sleep?”
“No, have you seen a light recently?” Matt asked. “They don’t just go out, they have this in-between stage where a part of the light’s essence stays behind and glows slightly. Then it sort of fades away.”
“Oh, you’re talking about LED lights,” Dr. Z said. “I guess they don’t always just go out.”
“And let me tell you that those seconds of the slow fade, for me, stretch out for hours. I have nightmares. I’m on the verge of consciousness, but it sort of feels like my life force is being drained.”
“I don’t think we should call that out like a light. Lights used to just go out.”
“Doctor, we’re trying to save the planet here. You need to upgrade all of your lights, even the metaphorical, to LED.”