Chuck, no fan of conferences, could not believe the current conference’s disastrous start. Chuck was just getting comfortable with 500 of his favorite analysts when the conference organizers came on stage.
“Thank you for coming to Day One of the conference!” one of the organizers yelled. The conference probably had some incredibly intricate name, but Chuck’s mind glossed over that detail and the people’s names. He wasn’t even able to remember why he was there. “We need everyone to follow us outside.”
“Did they just say outside?” the woman next to Chuck asked him. He nodded. Despite his selective hearing, his evolutionary instincts kicked in when the organizers said to come outside. Outside, it was below zero with snow blowing everywhere.
The organizers started walking between the aisles towards the entrance door. Not one of the 500 conference goers made a move.
“Come on,” an organizer said, ushering the crowd with his hands. “This will be worth it.”
The people on the aisles begrudgingly started to follow, and then everyone filed into line.
“Should we get our coats?” someone yelled. Everyone checked their coats at the beginning of the day.
“No, this will only take a minute,” another organizer yelled back.
Chuck’s trust in these people was low. They were making 500 people go outside. It would take more than a minute to get everyone out the door.
Chuck raced to the coat room, which was unoccupied, a fact that was unsettling for people who thought their coats would be carefully watched. Chuck snuck in, trying not to alert the people streaming by and quickly located his coat. When he snuck back out of the door, people were still filing outside. A cloud of steam rose over the gathered crowd as you could see everyone’s collective breath. Chuck joined the shivering masses.
In front of the building was a giant square box—at least 12 feet a side—wrapped in blue-and-yellow paper with a giant green bow on top. Chuck assumed they wrapped the box before they found the bow because the colors clashed.
Everyone’s teeth chattered by the time the group fully assembled around the box and the organizers. Several people had slipped, and some high heels were broken. The woman next to Chuck looked at him enviously in his winter coat and hat, while she stood in a skirt and a short-sleeved blouse. Chuck offered his scarf, but she turned him down.
“Welcome to the conference!” one of the organizers yelled to the group. People strained to hear him. Chuck wanted to point out that they had already welcomed the crowd, but restrained himself.
The organizer continued. “Behind me is our door prize—in this box. Looking at the box, I’m sure you will agree this was worth the venture into these chilly conditions.”
No one answered in the affirmative. No one thought it was merely chilly outside. Chuck could not believe random people had jobs where they were allowed to put on these conferences, convince everyone’s boss to send them and then hold a group of adults hostage.
“Well, let’s unwrap it!” an organizer said. The organizers gleefully dug into the box while the crowd watched through snow-blown eyes. The organizers tore off the wrapping, then used box cutters to tear apart the cardboard. As the wrapping slowly fell away, it seemed at first like nothing was in the box. Then, as the organizers moved, everyone saw a bike.
“We partnered with the Bike Village to bring you this bike. One lucky winner will take this home with them.”
Chuck stared in disbelief. He was freezing, and he had his coat. Everyone else was now at risk of frostbite. Finally, a fellow conference-goer was brave enough to yell. “Why didn’t you reveal the bike inside?”
An organizer smiled. “Well, the box wouldn’t fit through the door!”
Chuck laughed silently to himself. All of this fuss over a bike was because the conference organizers were impressed with their giant box. The bike was just a normal bike.
Chuck turned to the woman next to him. He handed her his name tag. “If I win the bike, you can have it.”
“Where are you going?” the woman asked.
“If the conference organizers are this bad at planning, they’re not going to notice if I’m here or not.”
Chuck started walking away to look for a place with warm coffee. He heard the organizers yelling. “Now, before we announce the bike winner, we need everyone to grab a piece of a box or wrapping. We don’t want to litter out here. Do your part and help out!”