Michael was sitting on his porch when his neighbor Celine walked over and sat down next to him.
“Michael, I have a hypothetical question,” Celine said.
“Go ahead.”
“Do you know my neighbor Ned?”
“I know him too well,” Michael said.
“Would you think I’m crazy if I heard all of these weird animal noises coming from his house?”
“Do you hear a Border Collie?”
“I think so. I do hear a dog,” Celine said.
“Her name’s Sarah. How about Mike the monkey?”
“Yes, there’s a monkey. And a bird?” Celine said.
“Gustav. There’s also a cat in a baseball cap,” Michael said.
“What’s the cat’s name?” Celine asked. Michael shrugged, so she continued. “So hypothetically, what if I’m hearing really weird sounds from these animals?”
“Would you call what you’re hearing, squawk rock?”
“What’s that?” Celine asked.
“It kind of sounds like a dying seal, but it’s a marching band,” Michael said.
“Yes. That does sound like what I’m hearing,” Celine said. “Is all of this real?”
“I don’t know,” Michael said. “Ned keeps hypothetically asking me all of these questions about these hypothetical animals that do strange things.”
“And you don’t know if it’s real?” Celine asked.
“No, and I don’t want to. If I find out it’s real, I have to change my whole belief system about animals. If it’s fake, then I think I have to get Ned professional mental health.”
“One way or another, it’s very noisy,” Celine said. The two sat on the porch for several moments, and then Ned walked by.
“Hey, Ned!” Michael yelled. “Hypothetically, what’s the name of the cat in the baseball cap?”
Ned appeared nervous to say anything in front of Celine, but finally he replied, “Baxter.”