Note from Those Stories: This story was written before whatever news is currently happening.
I stopped following the news altogether. I think it’s helped my mental health. My girlfriend thinks something bad could happen if I don’t keep up with the news. Well, gang, what’s the worst that could happen?
—Lost, Season 6
Jay: What is news for? It’s there to make you a better citizen. You’re being a worse citizen by not engaging in the news. How could that lead to punishments in the real world? Maybe you make a joke about Arkansas, and then you are shamed because you haven’t seen what’s been going on in Arkansas? You walk down the sidewalk and kill the last version of a certain flower that’s about to go extinct, and the public has rallied around. Really, it feels like being completely uninformed is just asking for trouble. Ignorance is bliss until it’s not.
Eliza: The world feels crazy, and all of the news is not helping. But may I suggest paying at least a little attention to local news? Each of us is given a little patch of this planet to affect, and you can be empowered by tending to the patch that’s around you. Maybe you can support a local animal shelter or plant trees. Maybe you can vote the mayor out for a scandal involving his rooting for another town’s sports team. A citizen should at least engage in something like that, just so you can tend to your patch of land.
Gene: The worst thing that could happen is you could be a hero and not even know it! Imagine you do something great. If you’re like me, you do something great two to three times a week and no one notices. Then, the one time someone finally does pay attention, you completely miss it. I subscribe to so many newspapers just on the off-chance that I end up on the front page. I tape all of the local news segments so I can look for myself. I’ve ended up in the background a few times, but I’m just waiting for the day when I’m hailed as the anonymous hero!
Kenny: You’re going to have no idea what’s going on. Someone’s going to bring up the great candy cane conflict, and you’ll be clueless. What’s the great candy cane conflict? Well, you’ll never know if you don’t read the news. There’s nothing worse than having to admit to not knowing something. You look like an idiot. People will ridicule you for knowing nothing. People will think you… Don’t read the news. I guess that’s the worst thing that could happen. People will think you don’t read the news.