Jimmy was a passenger on the journey to find out what happened to his golf club during his brief hiatus. Frustrated by the people who adopted the golf holes, he’d given them some breathing room. Now all the tenants seem to have gotten together and come up with a plan—they never did when Jimmy was around. He always had to settle disputes.
Jimmy sat in the passenger seat next to Nicktor, who ran the Haunted House on Hole 11. Parker Walsh, who ran the graveyard on Hole 10, sat in the back with Honey from the Pollen Sanctuary on Hole 15th.
They were coming to the end of Hole 4, but Jimmy’s question about why the course seemed more normal had not yet been answered.
They stopped in front of the placard on Hole 5. “Adopted by The Decorating Committee, the official decorators of the Finch Golf Club.” The hole featured toned-down Christmas decorations by the tee box. It was not the garish affair that lit up the day and night the previous year, topped off by a 40-foot inflatable tree by the hole.
“So, the decorating committee has changed its role,” Nicktor said, “They are no longer going to rent the hole out for events. They are going to be responsible for decorating public spaces on the course for free, and will use my Haunted House in the off-season for certain events.”
“What?” Jimmy said. “No more Haunted Houses on Valentine’s Day and Labor Day?”
“No,” Nicktor said. “You’ll see when we pass it, but the Haunted House is going to scale down to just the area off the green to not interfere with golf. – as long as you’ll still have me. I’m going to open a new Haunted Restaurant, so my performers have something to do in the offseason.”
“Where’s the restaurant going?” Jimmy asked. Nicktor didn’t answer.
Honey took the lead as they passed the scuba diving lesson hole. She explained that Pat Muir, the instructor, was moving his operations into an area between holes. They would now in no way interfere with the golfers, but would still scuba dive for the lost balls.
“What about people driving into the lake on Hole 17?” Jimmy asked.
“I don’t think that will be a problem anymore,” Honey replied, but Jimmy did not get an explanation for why not.
“Well, what about the Pollen Sanctuary? Is it the same?” Jimmy asked Honey.
“Well, no,” Honey said. “We’re going to take over planting flowers all over the golf course, but the bees are moving. People will be able to play golf on our hole.”
“Is every hole like this?” Jimmy asked.
“Well, you can see up ahead that the Zodiac statues are still there,” Parker Walsh, the funeral director, chimed in. “And the radio station is still going to broadcast from its hole, but not so loud that everyone can hear it all the time. We’re also moving our headstones.”
“Wait, didn’t you bury people along your hole?” Jimmy asked.
“No, we just had the stones,” Parker said, laughing. “It was really all a silly marketing game. Only a real lunatic has a headstone that says Fore-gone, but not Fore-gotten.”
“My father has that on his headstone,” Jimmy said, laughing.
“Speaking of your father,” Nicktor said. “The Alternative History Museum is moving their stuff out of their hole, but they’re going to create a museum for your father in the clubhouse, documenting what he did for the course.”
Jimmy felt touched by this gesture. “That’s incredibly kind. Will it be a real exhibit, or will they say aliens abducted him?”
“After some negotiating, they’re leaving the aliens out,” Nicktor said with a laugh.
“I don’t know why you’re doing all of this,” Jimmy said, shocked.
The three stayed silent for a moment. Finally, Parker Walsh said, “We need to take him to Club 17.”
“Oh no, is Bryson going to sue me again in TV court?” Jimmy asked.
“Well, there will be some legal documents,” Nicktor said ominously.
The Finch Golf Club is part of a series. You can read other entries here.