Hey, Sitcom Crew, I love the column. I have a friend who always reschedules our plans. She has good reasons and seems to feel bad about it, but I’m pretty upset. I feel like she’s canceling on purpose or isn’t thinking about me. What should I do?
—The One With the Flakey Friend
Jay: This isn’t about you. It’s about her. If you still want to put effort into the friendship, figure out how you can fit into her schedule. Can you stop by her place with coffee for 15 minutes? Would she like for you to mow the lawn? Could you bring a food truck to her office for lunch? You can accommodate her.
Eliza: Make it clear that if she cancels plans, you are doing something better without her. Make her jealous, and she will stop canceling plans. Run into a famous Instagram Influencer she likes, or have someone comp your lunch. Devise ways to make it clear that her time would be better spent with you than doing something else.
Gene: You need to figure out if this is about you or if this is a thing she does. Do you know any of her other friends or people she works with? If it’s only you, then you need to present all of the evidence you’ve gathered. Make her fess up and tell you what’s wrong with you. It’s the only way you’re going to move on.
Kenny: Why are you even making plans? You’ll see each other when you see each other. And if you don’t, a million different people are out there. Go out and experience life. Make it a great day. You may run into this friend when they’re less busy, and they want to track you down.