Jimmy, owner of the Finch Golf Club, noticed the smoke from the clubhouse. Hole 17 was close, but if he heard there was a fire, he knew it would be Hole 17.
Jimmy jumped in his golf cart and stepped on it. Hole 17 was supposed to have a country club setup. Jimmy had approved the building of a bar, restaurant, and pool on the hole. The adopters called themselves Club 17.
Unfortunately, it was more of a spring break mob scene every day. The guys who ran the place could not get into a fraternity in college (some could not even get into college), so they were making up for lost time in their early 30s.
Club 17 hosted loud, raging parties day and night. They got golfers so drunk that golf carts were driven into the lake, and Pat, the scuba instructor from hole 6, had to dive in and save the golfers’ clubs.
The Club 17 ‘boys’ were menaces, and they kept bringing more and more people into the fold. Even Nicktor, the haunted house owner, had joined in day drinking sessions. They would shoot water guns at golfers, chase golfers in full mascot costumes and challenge them to elaborate drinking games.
The liability insurance claims were piling up from this hole, and even though Club 17 always paid its premiums, Reliable Insurance Agency might drop it as a customer.
Of all the crazy things Jimmy had seen on Hole 17, including a few too many naked people, he did not expect what he saw today. In the middle of the course, a golf cart was on fire. It looked like most of the members of Club 17 were standing around watching it burn.
As Jimmy approached, some members turned around and started throwing water balloons at him.
“Whoa, whoa,” Bryson, one of the Club 17 members, yelled, “It’s just Jimmy.”
The water balloons stopped.
“Look, Jimmy, we lit those Alternate History Buffoons golf cart on fire,” one of the guys yelled (The Alternate History Museum had adopted Hole 14.
“You can’t just…” Jimmy began.
“It was a war they started,” Bryson said.
“How?”
“It’s apparently Cookie Peace Day, where a war turned to peace with cookies. They brought us some.”
“And that led to this?”
“They were walnut cookies,” Bryson said. “We could not stand for that.”
The guys started laughing and high-fiving. Some of them had wives and kids. What were they doing?
Jimmy saw Mikey, the Golf Instructor from Hole 16, drive up. He was yelling. “Get away from the cart! The fire department is on the way, but the batteries could combust and burn you guys.”
Jimmy let some guys pile in his golf cart, and Mikey did too. Jimmy motioned for Mikey to follow him, and Jimmy headed for the clubhouse.
“You can just take us back to Club 17,” Bryson said jovially, but Jimmy didn’t listen. He drove straight to the clubhouse over the protests of the other passengers.
When they arrived, Jimmy got out and faced the group. “All members of Club 17 are now banned from the Finch Golf Club.”
“You can’t do that!” Bryson yelled, and the others joined in. “We adopted the golf hole.”
“Adoption cancelled,” Jimmy said. Mikey stood next to Jimmy as backup. Mikey’s usually laid-back attitude gave way to a more intimidating look.
“You’ll pay for this,” Bryson said, but he led the others to the parking lot. Bryson was already scheming his revenge.
The Finch Golf Club is part of a series, you can read other entries here.