I tried a classic sitcom idea to solve a problem. Two of my employees have to work in the same room, but they often get in each other’s way and start arguing. I put a line on the floor to keep them separated, but it didn’t work. They got into a shoving match, literally pushing a cart over the line at each other. What should I do?
—Hook, Line and Sinker
Jay: Too many sitcoms over the years have tried this. If you pay attention to those episodes, you’ll always see it fail. Maybe the bathroom is on one side of the room, but the kitchen is on the other. Someone accidentally drops something, it crosses the line, and they cannot get it back. The line is meant to help people see their differences and come together. Have you looked around in the world? Does that ever happen?
On sitcoms, the exercise that does work is locking people in a room or an elevator until they work out their differences. I had a teacher in high school try this with two mean girls. As he said, “They’ll either kill each other, or they’ll be best friends again.” They both made it out alive.
Eliza: I tried this with my sister when I was a kid. We shared a room, and her mess was always getting over to my side of the room. So I made a line. We both dug into owning our half of the room and ignored the other person. However, my parents did not recognize the line, and so I was still responsible for cleaning “our room” even when it was her mess. This made me furious, so instead of cleaning it, I pulled all of her stuff out of her dresser and threw it on the floor. When my parents questioned me, I said, “How could I possibly have done this? I was on my side of the line.” My parents made me live in the garage for several months.
Gene: Can’t you just fire them? If they can’t act in a civilized way toward each other, why are you keeping them? Either fire one of them or both. The problem with firing one of them is that if you fire the wrong person, you’ll have the same problem in a few months. The person you kept will be fighting with someone else, and you’ll have to put another line on the floor. Of course, maybe you will have learned your lesson and you can fire the new person and the one you kept. Maybe you need more space to work in, but find that out with new people. Fire these people!
Kenny: A line is a state of mind. You didn’t make crossing the line real enough. Light the line on fire. Make the line a moat. Build a wall between the two. Electrify the line so it shocks anyone who gets too close. Make that line real, and then people will respect the line. I don’t know whether a culture of fear will improve their work, but it will make the line real.