When the middle school principal told the school resource officer that the kids were having a bad wave of gossip disrupting the entire school, he didn’t expect the officer’s response.
“I know two guys—Mitch and Zane—whose nickname is the Gossip Guys. We should bring them in to lead an assembly,” the officer said.
“Why would we bring in the Gossip Guys?” the principal asked.
“Because they know better than anyone the harms of gossip. Do you know how many times a year they have to be witnesses at a trial because they know too much? Do you know how often their property is vandalized or they’re caught in a scam because they’ve made so many enemies? Do you know how quickly they churn through friends?”
The principal agreed to the assembly, and Mitch and Zane were thrilled to attend a middle school. They saw such places as the cradle of gossip civilization.
The school resource officer called them up to the stage after an introduction.
“Well, what have you learned that you can share with us?” the officer asked.
Zane began, “Veronica is paying Stacey to text her what Zoe is wearing on the bus every day so Veronica can always wear a matching outfit.”
“Daniel is spreading a rumor about how Mike’s taking steroids because he keeps beating him in basketball,” Mitch added.
“And Petey,” Zane began.
“Oh, Petey!” Mitch yelled. “How many of you think you’re secretly dating Petey?”
A bunch of hands went up, and the school resource office rushed to the microphone. “Put your hands down. Guys, what are you doing?”
“I thought we were here to talk about gossip, so we collected some,” Zane said.
“No, you’re supposed to talk about the perils of gossip,” the officer said.
“Well,” Mitch said, “I bet everyone feels pretty bad right now. That’s the peril of gossip for you.”