Both parents were nervous as they drove towards Forest Grove summer camp to pick up their son, Baker. Henry drove with his hands clutched so tightly on the steering wheel that he could feel his fingernails digging into his palms. Lacey was absently tearing up her now-empty Starbucks cup with her hands.
The couple had sent their son to summer camp for reasons different from those of most parents. Baker was weird. At eight years old, he liked to talk like a gangster from an old movie. He’d say things like, “Well, buster, you better move out of the way, see.”
Baker, at inopportune moments, would call for a tornado run and spin like a top in a random direction—unconcerned about running into people or objects.
Instead of just saying thank you, he would also give people ridiculous recommendations. “Thank you for opening the door for me. Now let me open a door for you by recommending that you wash your laundry with Tide Pods.”
Baker’s teachers didn’t seem to mind any of this behavior, and the couple’s friends just said he was quirky. However, Henry and Lacey could see how weird this kid was. The couple did not want a weird kid.
Both parents went to summer camp as kids, and they knew that behavior changed quickly when new kids made fun of you.
“I just hope he wasn’t bullied too much,” Lacey said.
“Long-term, this was good for him,” Henry said stoically, as they parked.
When the couple got out of the car, they immediately heard someone say in an old-time voice, “Let’s get some mac and cheese, buster. See, I want to really dive into that swell sauce, see.”
The couple looked up expectantly, but it was a girl they did not know who was talking to her mother. The mother was laughing.
Lacey and Henry walked towards the main building when someone yelled, “Tornado run!”
Two boys rushed towards them, spinning, and Henry barely dodged to avoid their path as they continued off in another direction. Neither kid was Baker.
Confused, the couple went to the main building and held the door open for a girl. The girl smiled at them. “Thank you for holding the door open for me. Now, to improve your smile, let me recommend Crest White Strips.”
Then they saw Baker. He sat on a throne, wearing a crown. He saw them and ran up to give them big hugs.
“I had the best time at camp,” he said excitedly. “I even won camp king.”
The parents were stunned. A counselor saw the parents and ran up to them. “Thanks so much for sending Baker. He was the most fun kid we’ve ever had. Everyone wanted to be like Baker!”