Hey, Sitcom Advice. I am currently out of work, and the job market is really tough right now. I was wondering what advice you have for someone looking for a job. You’re not looking for a fifth member of the sitcom advice crew, are you? I’m joking, but if you have any leads, please let me know.
—Cheers (To a New Job)
Jay: I’m really sorry to hear you’re having trouble finding work. Looking for a job is like having the worst job in the world—you’re selling yourself as the product. I have the best and the worst advice (well, except for Gene’s advice). You should work for yourself. Start a company or become a consultant. Is it terrifying, and does it feel unstable? Yes. But you’ll be able to pivot in a tumultuous world shaped by memes, AI and crumbling infrastructure much more quickly than any company. However, the big drawback is your boss. Your boss is going to be you. If you’re like the rest of us, you’re going to be incredibly hard on yourself. As a boss, you will have unreasonable deadlines and demands that you, as an employee, will try to avoid.
Eliza: Who do you know? That’s my advice for getting a job. The next job will come from the people you already know or the people they know. During this time, when you are looking for a job, spend your efforts catching up with old friends and colleagues. Go out for a lot of lunches and coffees. You don’t even have to talk about not having a job. Just make sure they’re aware you’re looking. If you know anyone who might lead to opportunities, reach out to that person. Instead of just sending in anonymous resumes, start putting your face out there. I hope you have a good personality, though, because if not, this plan will completely backfire and you’ll never get a job.
Gene: You must have an idea of what job you want. Not a fantasy job, but a job that someone writing into the Sitcom Advice Column could really get. My guess is that someone else already has that job. It feels like a problem, but if you have the target, the rest should be pretty straightforward. You’re going to get that person fired! You need to create a paper trail that incriminates them—make them appear incompetent, dishonest, and devious in their job. As you’re laying this trap, you need to figure out how to position yourself as the best person to take the job. You should act like Scooby Doo. You’re the person who finally unmasks the fraud at the end of the episode. Then, when someone from the company asks, “Who could ever do this person’s job?” You raise your hand.
Kenny: You can spend a lot of time online looking for jobs, but I recommend you go into the world to find what jobs are out there. You should spend a lot of your time listening for a job. Go to places where people might be talking about jobs. Then interrupt conversations and say, “I could do that job.” Listening for jobs is a great way to get exercise, meet new people, and it keeps you away from podcasts that might indoctrinate you into wild conspiracy cults. Listen, buddy, I’ve been there. Looking for a job is hard. Smelling a job is unsatisfying. Stick to listening for a job. Do you hear it?
The gang gives lots of advice. Check out previous editions here. Learn more about the Sitcom Advice Crew.