“We know that the inconvenience fee is going to change how people exist in the world,” Steve Kole said to an exasperated Louis Sideways of Sideways Marketing. How was this guy’s hour not over? Sideways thought. The clock moved so slowly in these situations.
Steve continued, “Those who are an inconvenience will have to think twice because they get fined. Those who are inconvenienced will finally have restitution. The only question remaining is how to distribute the money.”
Sideways held up his hands. “Wait a second, that’s not your problem. How are you going to collect the fees?”
“Oh, you just send a bill, and they have to pay it,” Steve said.
“Under what authority?” Sideways said.
“That’s the beauty of the inconvenience fee,” Steve said, “You have the authority because you were inconvenienced.”
“Listen, I’m just a marketer with a lot of ideas, but the inconvenience fee is not one of the natural rights that John Locke said God handed down to us in arguing for American Independence. Even a convenience fee is fair game under the rules of capitalism. This is just an idea.”
Steve Kole considered this for a minute. “So how does an idea become a thing?”
“Hard work,” Sideways said. “Ideas grow on imaginary trees. Actions take gardening.”
“So, what do you think it would take?” Steve Kole said. “Maybe a document that’s notarized?”
“This is how I think it could be done. You’d need to pick a small city or town to be the test case for this idea. You’d need to campaign for it. Then you’d have to clearly write out the law and get the city council to vote for it. Then the mayor would have to be convinced to enforce the law. Finally, you would need to prepare to fight for it when it is challenged in court.”
“That sounds like a lot of work,” Steve said.
“That’s just step one.”
Steve tried to come up with the words “Well, that is… well, it’s just…”
Sideways finished it, “It’s just such an inconvenience.”