Surprisingly, Cobb Maize was the hottest restaurant in the neighborhood. Colin and Phillip planned an evening there.
Colin delayed their departure by asking Phillip to help him achieve a perfect accessory balance. Should he have a scarf? Was there concern they’d go out afterward? What were the odds it might rain—rain jacket or umbrella?
Phillip knew Colin, he told himself, and he should have suggested they leave earlier. Phillip and Colin had been friends forever, so when they arrived at Cobb Maize, Phillip knew it would be a rough evening. They were going to have to wait for a table.
“It’s a 40-minute wait,” Phillip told Colin after talking to the hostess. Colin said it was fine but immediately started fidgeting.
“40 minutes is nothing,” said the woman in the couple standing next to them. They were dressed all in beige—Mr. and Mrs. Beige. “We waited an hour and a half last week.”
“Their name is Cobb Maize, and they don’t even serve corn?” Colin asked.
“No,” Mr. Beige said. “They serve cobb salads and A-Maizeing food.”
The Beiges chuckled, and Phillip suggested they wait outside.
Colin started pacing on the sidewalk. Phillip knew he hated waiting. The scarf that Phillip had approved in the long getting-ready phase was twisted in Colin’s hands.
“What are we going to do for 40 minutes? Colin asked.
“We could talk,” Phillip suggested.
“We’re just going to talk?” Colin asked. Phillip almost pointed out that’s why you go to restaurants, but he knew where this was going. “There’s a restaurant across the street. Let’s go there.”
Phillip wanted to argue but knew it was no use with Colin. The place across the street was just called Restaurant, and inside, it felt like a government building cafeteria. A waiter led them to their table and told them he’d be back to get their combo number and drink order.
“Look at that,” Colin said as they looked over the 147 different combinations of food, which ranged from American to Mexican to sushi. “They have corn and a cobb salad. Combo 32.”
Colin took a half hour to decide what to order. He finally settled on that 32 combo. Phillip ordered a 121 from the master of none menu, and the food arrived within four minutes. It was almost inedible.
The pair talked and caught up. Phillip refused to look at the dessert menu.
As they left, Colin pointed over to Cobb Maize, “Look, it’s cleared out. Let’s go get dessert over there.”
Phillip agreed because he was still hungry.
They sat down. Colin had to admit that the four items on the dessert menu did look A-Maizeing.
“You guys are just getting seated?” Mrs. Beige asked as she walked by with her husband. “Honestly, it probably wasn’t worth that wait.”