“Why didn’t I get the security clearance?” Marty said to his boss, Cassie, as they sat in her office.
“I’m going to level with you,” Cassie said. She moved some papers around. “We found some disturbing trends in your communication habits when we did a background check.”
“I don’t think I’ve communicated with the wrong people,” Marty said.
“No, it’s not that. As part of the background check, we talked to a lot of your friends and family, and noticed a disturbing pattern.”
“What’s that?” Marty asked.
“Let me read you one of the things that came up in the report. This exchange is from your sister, Patty. My brother was supposed to come over for dinner. Then I got a text from him that said, ‘Man, I can’t stand eating with Patty’s new boyfriend. He eats like a beaver.’ He meant to send that text to his wife, but he sent it to me.”
“An isolated incident,” Marty said. “It’s not a pattern.”
“You have a rock-climbing buddy who is unfortunately named Rocky,” Cassie said. “He said you sent him a text that said, ‘Told Rocky that I hit traffic, but I’m actually in the dozen donut challenge at Holey’s Donuts. I’ll let you know how I do.’ Who was that meant for?”
“It was intended for my wife, but her name is Rory, which is close to Rocky, so…”
“How about this one. ‘I need you to call me in five minutes, so Cassie thinks I have an emergency.’ You sent that one to me—your boss.”
“So I mis-send texts. What’s the big deal?”
“You’re also being pretty dishonest behind people’s backs. We just can’t give you a clearance right now.”
Marty got up to leave and took out his phone.
“Oh, Marty,” Cassie called after him, looking at her own phone. “It says you’re typing a message to me. Maybe you should send that one to your wife instead.”